


Just Say It

by Lazy8



Series: Forging Connections [7]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Background Het, Canon Compliant, F/F, Internalized Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-28 18:24:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19399831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazy8/pseuds/Lazy8
Summary: Toph knows what she wants, and she's pretty sure that Katara knows too... so why won't she admit it?





	Just Say It

At first, it was the dates.

Oh, _Katara_ might never have called them that—but Toph knew all along, and she knew that Katara knew, that that's what they were. She might not have been able to see, but she wasn't blind, and _no one_ , girl or boy, took you out to dinner, to performances, to spas and fancy clothing markets, and spent the whole time telling you how pretty you were and how much she loved spending time with you, without it meaning _something_. Besides, she could _feel_ Katara's anxiety, her nervous hope, the jolt in her gut at the most innocuous turns of phrase. Toph had learned a thing or two from her time in the Earth Rumbles; she knew _exactly_ what it meant.

At first, she'd wanted to laugh. _Katara_ , of all people? Prim and proper _Katara?_ Toph had wanted to tease her, to hold it over her head, ' _Not so high and mighty now, huh, Sugar Queen?_ ' In the end, though, she'd kept her mouth shut and gone along with it, if nothing else for the thought of how scandalized her parents would be if only they knew.

…and kept on keeping her mouth shut, until well after the joke should have ended.

The problem was, after the first few rounds of peeve-the-parents, after the novelty had worn off? Toph realized that she was actually starting to _like_ the idea, for its own sake. She _liked_ Katara, and much as the older girl could drive her up the wall at times, she was also very caring and considerate, and had an uncanny way of knowing what Toph needed before _Toph_ had even figured it out, whether it was a second cup of tea, someone to unload on, or even a nice, hot bath.

Oh yes, had she mentioned the baths?

Like the dates, at first they had been completely innocuous. Katara had complained that she was dirty, that she was starting to smell, that a little water wouldn't kill her and that she could at least be considerate of the people who had to sleep next to her. _Unlike_ the dates, at first Katara hadn't had any ulterior motive at all: Katara, Toph had learned, had a thing about dirt, and she'd been more than willing to give Toph's back a good scrubbing in those hard-to-reach places purely for the sake of her nose's delicate sensibilities while Sokka and Aang chatted and splashed each other nearby.

Ever so slowly, however, _something_ had shifted. "You're stiff all over," Katara had muttered one day, and then her fingers had pressed gently but firmly into Toph's back. Though it came as a surprise, Toph could hardly say that she was displeased: Katara knew _exactly_ the right way to loosen her knotted muscles, and Toph liked the feel of her fingers, hard and callused, the hands of someone who actually _worked_.

Maybe she _should_ have protested when Katara's hands had started to explore a little more than was strictly necessary, using the cover of the water to ghost over parts of her body that most certainly did _not_ suffer from stiff muscles, her heart pounding so hard that Toph could hear it even without the conduit of the earth. Once again, however, she kept silent and leaned back to rest her head in the crook of Katara's neck, because whatever problems it might have caused if the others found out, the truth was she didn't _actually_ want Katara to stop. When she started touching _back_ , letting her legs twine with Katara's under the water while her fingers stroked the insides of Katara's arms, the thrill of the secret they were keeping right under the others' noses sent a jolt through her body that nearly shocked her to stiffness right there in the water.

Once, in Ba Sing Se, Toph had tried kissing her. It was a stupid thing, and she'd let Katara make her stupid excuses that of course that wasn't what was _really_ going on, and had let Katara go on and on about how she wasn't always sure what she was doing with the boys (yeah, she knew Katara had kissed Twinkle Toes back in the Crystal Catacombs, so?) before she let out an exasperated sigh.

"Look, if you want to try it that badly just _say_ so."

…but of course, Katara would _never_ say it. Her initiative ended with her ability to make an excuse. So, Toph did what she'd known all along Katara had wanted her to do, and stood on tiptoe, and waited patiently until Katara's lips brushed up against hers. The other girl pulled away extremely quickly, and Toph knew that unlike a girls' day out or a bathtime massage, she would never be able to explain this away as anything other than what it was.

* * *

Of course, Toph had known all along that Katara's heart beat just as hard for Aang as it ever had for her. The thing was, though, she'd never particularly _cared:_ Katara hadn't asked her for anything, hadn't owed her anything, and since Toph was getting so much pleasure out of what she _did_ decide to give, she didn't see any reason to begrudge Aang if Katara decided to give a little something to him once in a while too.

_She'd_ never seen it as a choice—but she supposed bitterly that she should have known better than to be surprised that Katara would.

She also shouldn't have been surprised that Aang would have been the safer choice.

Toph tried to distract herself with her teaching. She told herself that Katara had made her no promises, that she'd had no reason to expect Katara to stick around after the war, and that just because _she_ wouldn't have minded sharing that didn't mean everyone else thought the same way. She'd lost. Might as well deal with it and move on.

She did deal with it. She laughed at the silly pet names Aang and Katara had come up with for each other (and tried not to wonder how Katara's "sweetie" would have sounded had it been addressed to her). She threw herself into her bending. She dated other people.

…she tried to talk to Katara.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said the first time Toph cornered her away from Aang.

"Liar." Toph crossed her arms.

"Toph, look." Katara's voice sounded tired, and strained. "We might have… played around a bit… when we were girls. But that's over now."

"The way your heart's going says it was a little more than just 'playing'."

"That doesn't matter anymore. I'm a married woman now, and you're… well, you're living your own life. At least _try_ to find someone else."

"That isn't what this is about and you know it. Believe me, I know when I've lost." Toph blew her hair out of her face with a huff. "All I want to know is why you were so _ashamed_ of me you always insisted on hiding it."

"I wasn't… ashamed…"

"Liar."

It was a long, long time before Katara spoke again. "I'm not like you."

In the end, Toph had to give, even though giving in was not in her nature, and accept that what Katara had given her was all that she was ever going to get. She really should have known better than to expect more.

It had been too much to expect her parents to accept her for who she was, and it would be too much to expect anyone to be comfortable with _themselves_ , much less her. There was nothing to be done but lower her expectations.

Over the years, she saw various men and women alike. Sometimes it was actual dating; sometimes only a few nights of fun. Every time, Toph made sure never to ask for more than they were willing to give.

Then, she got a phone call.

Toph had never been able to make up her mind whether the invention of the phone was a stroke of genius or a mistake that needed to be forgotten about and buried forever. On the one hand, someone had _finally_ invented a way to communicate with friends halfway around the world in a way that involved purely _talking_ , without having to rely on _letters_ that you could only read by sharing their contents with someone else. On the other hand… that blaring ring was the most annoying thing in the world.

"Chief Beifong speaking."

"Toph? It's… Katara."

Now _that_ was unexpected. Toph blinked, and leaned back in her chair. "Spill."

"It's… it's about Aang."

* * *

For a brief, inexplicable moment, she was afraid she'd be glad.

For so many years, Toph had been nursing that flame, and for all of that time Aang had been the competition who'd beaten her out, though she doubted that he'd ever known it. Toph didn't like to contemplate what she might be capable of feeling, now that he was out of the way—what sort of monster was capable of gloating over the death of a friend?

Not Toph Beifong, apparently. Jealousy, she was capable of. Bitterness, too. But hating the man who'd been a lifelong friend to her, who'd given Katara a lifetime's worth of happiness? Never.

"Rest in peace, old friend," was all she said at Aang's funeral.

Shortly after that was over, Toph packed up and left civilization behind.

What was left for her here? She'd screwed up in every way possible. She'd been a police chief, and her youngest daughter was a criminal. Her children weren't speaking to each other. She had yet to have a single relationship that had lasted more than a few years—it had been at least a decade since the last time she'd even _tried_. Now, her anchor, the first person who'd brought her out of her hated cage in Gaoling and into the wider world, was gone. There was nothing left to hold her here.

So, she wandered the Earth. She had no destination, no goal, but instead simply let her feet take her where they would. Sometimes she came into towns, to get the sort of good meal that couldn't be had in the wilderness or even occasionally to help with a crisis that could be solved by a couple of well-placed rocks, but for the most part she kept to herself. For most of her life, she'd been in with the crowd, with their constant chatter and vibrations and their hearts all beating at different rates. She thought it was time to try solitude on for size.

As she walked, her feet became ever more sensitive to even the slightest vibrations. In the city, she realized, there had been nothing but noise. Out here, it was far more quiet. Here, she could dig her toes into the Earth and really _listen_ , picking out everything from the crawling ants to the vibrations of grass stalks blown by the breeze.

Eventually, she found a place to settle. Somewhere nice and quiet, where the distant roar of the cities could still be heard but did not bother her, with plenty of natural vibrations but mostly free from people and their constant chatter. Here, Toph thought she could live out the rest of her days in peace.

Of course, Aang always did have a way of showing up out of the blue and dragging her into his affairs whether she wanted any part of it or not.

* * *

"Well. At least that's over."

It would turn out that she would not only be dragged into the Republic City celebration of Kuvira's overthrow, but find herself standing side by side with Katara. Destiny must be laughing at her so hard right now.

"Indeed it is."

There was surprisingly little awkwardness between them, now that all was said and done. They weren't inexperienced children anymore, and as far as Toph was concerned they were far too old to care what other people thought.

"By the way, do you know where Korra is? What with all the excitement, I never got a chance to properly congratulate her."

"Oh, Korra?" Toph felt a wicked grin spreading across her face. "She disappeared into the spirit portal with her girlfriend about half an hour ago."

Katara must have been drinking something, for she reacted with an immensely satisfying splutter. "What do you mean, _girlfriend?_ "

"Oh yeah, didn't you know? She and that Asami girl have a definite thing going on. I could feel it from the other side of the room."

Katara shook her head, and when she spoke her voice sounded wistful. "I sometimes wonder whether this is why the world must always be passed on to a new generation. It seems like it's always the young who take the lead in challenging stupid traditions… and young people are very good at following their hearts."

Toph snorted. "You _were_ following your heart. Not your fault it was leading you in two different directions at once."

Katara chuckled lightly. Then, she sighed. The silence dragged out, and once again Toph could feel a slightly nervous heartbeat. She'd barely had time to contemplate what this might mean when Katara's hand landed on her shoulder.

"I think it's about time I tried following my heart again." The nervous heartbeat was still there, but when she spoke, her voice was determined.

Toph quirked her mouth. "What, two old geezers, world-famous leaders and master benders, right here in public?" She swept her hand out in a gesture that encompassed the party around them. "I bet we'd scare half these people away." Even as she spoke, though, she was raising herself up on a pillar of rock so that her face was level with Katara's.

"I think I'll take that bet." Then, ignoring all of the gossipy whispers that were building around them, Katara leaned forward and gave her a kiss that _wasn't_ "just practice".

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I am still doing this, and yes, I am still doing this _incredibly slowly_. Ideas for these shorts... are not coming easily. I still do intend to keep going until the end, though given that my posting rate seems to be getting exponentially slower, I might be an old geezer myself by the time I manage to finish.


End file.
